As clear cut evidence of having too much time on my hands, I've been looking into the fringe candidates for President -- the hopeful, hopeless little twerps who sign up to run for the leadership of this country, without a penny of superPAC money or, in most cases, a clue about the issues on which they nevertheless fearlessly take stands. What's sad is that most of them won't even be awarded the "footnote to history" acolade -- they won't get that far, even. Here's a sampling.
| Name
| Kathyern Lane (yes, that's really how she spells it)
|
| Party
| GOP (she says she flipped a coin)
|
| Qualifications
| Claims to have taught herself Japanese
|
| Positions
| Repeal Obama Care; drill for oil anywhere we damn please; build lots of nukes; reduce taxes; improve and expand the H1-B program (which, somehow, in her view, will increase jobs for Americans.)
|
| McLuggage Index
| Certifiably Insane
|
| Name
| Roger Gary
|
| Party
| Libertarian
|
| Qualifications
| None
|
| Positions
| Few concrete stands that can be identified, except "keep government out of my hair." Wants TSA to stop molesting people (his phrase) at the airport.
|
| McLuggage Index
| A waste of oxygen
|
| Name
| Jimmy McMillan
|
| Party
| The Rent is Too Damn High Party
|
| Qualifications
| Has appeared as a panelist on "American's Dumbest Criminals." Funnier than Al Sharpton.
|
| Positions
| Obama is “a good-looking young guy, and I’m a handsome old dude. So there’s gonna be some competition there.”
|
| McLuggage Index
| Highly amusing to watch; has no policies worth mentioning. Web site appears to be down.
|
| Name
| Danny Woodring
|
| Party
| Independent
|
| Qualifications
| Well, at least he doesn't like the Tea Baggers
|
| Positions
| The usual crap; cut taxes (but still fix the roads and improve education,) oust the immigrants, "restructure" the H1-B visa program, and do something, not entirely clear what, to defense spending.
|
| McLuggage Index
| An excellent example of why you can't and shouldn't elect political outsiders; everything looks so simple when you're on the outside looking in.
|
| Name
| Vern Wuensche
|
| Party
| GOP
|
| Qualifications
| He's run a construction business
|
| Positions
| Typical small-time, small-mind conservative stuff. His profile on the GOP site, which I assume he or his campaign supplied, contains this unusual statement: "Vern’s inner toughness is a consequence of his modest beginnings plus the difficulties he regularly faced in surviving his business which he was never able to take to the next level. Every five years or so one dishonest individual would wipe out his accumulated capital without any chance of recovery since the legal costs would always exceed the recovery amount." No idea what that's all about.
|
| McLuggage Index
| Appears to be a moron.
|
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