Incredibly, against all odds, the Pakistan Taliban splits into factions. "This is unprecedented," said an expert in religio-political terror groups. "Never, in all the last twenty minutes, have I heard of anything like this happening!" He spoke on condition of anonymity, for reasons so obvious that they don't bear repeating.
"Wow," said US Vice President Joseph Biden, "I didn't see that coming." His comment, which was intended to be off the record, was picked up by thirty-six live microphones, most of them positioned near his mouth.