The Occasional Joke


Nurse: Patient's name?

Centurion: Marcus Licinius Crassus

Nurse: And his date of birth?

Centurion: 115 BC.

Nurse: All right. And what is he here for?

Centurion: Cataphract surgery.


Sunday, July 15, 2007

Can you interpret MRI Imagery?

So I had another MRI of my head last week, and they gave me a CD of the results. Trouble is, I have no clue how to interpret the results. They look a little funny to me -- both the stills and the motion. Anybody have any ideas?









Look kind of interesting, don't they?

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Old Family Pics


Found this old sepia tone of Uncle Mert, cooking from his rolling chair, probably sometime around 1937. Funny looking old geezer, wasn't he?


So hundreds of you have written in, asking about Uncle Mert. I did a quick search on our family geneological database for a sketch of him, and came up with these short little notes. Hope you find it interesting.

Mert (Mertram) DeNyal-Dodder McLuggage was an early immigrant from County Kerry, in a plague ship with his parents, Shilaligh and Allison McLuggage, fleeing the porrige famine. Landing in the St Lawrance (they were aiming for Canada, not the US, since they were devout Protestants), they made their way about as far south as Kingston, ON, when the ship was set upon by a press gang which pressed Mert (even at the tender age of 14) into the local mounted infantry (since he was the only one willing to admit that he knew which end the hay went into.)

A cavalryman for the rest of his days, Mert fought with the commonwealth troops in any number of key engagements, including being part of the little known Canadian forces operating with the Sioux, against Custer, at the little big horn; fighting with Wolsley in Ashanti-land; taking part in the harrying from one end of Afganistan to the other of the elusive Sultan of Swat; and finally the viscious retreat from each well-defended pension and auberge in Belgium during 1914. Severely wounded in his drinking elbow at Ypres, he was assigned to training duties for the rest of the Great War, and was not called up for the second. The picture shown here is uncharacteristic, since he appears to be unarmed (except for the spoon). He was, according to family and neighbors, seldom without a sidearm, and usually a carbine and sabre as well. He passed away in 1939, infuriated as usual at being turned down for active duty.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

ART FAIR CANCELLED IN ESTHETICS FLAP

Found this -- dating to 1995. How quickly 12 years go by. Notice that it pre-dates the art-on-a-stick phenomenon, the bogus "free art fair parking" raids, and the premeditated false-directions-to-Zingermans campaigns. Ah, the good old days.


Ann Arbor: Collapsing in a heap of bitterness and ill-feeling, Ann Arbor's famed Street Art Fair has finally been cancelled. After years of declining attendance and waning interest (last year's event drew 28 human visitors and a schnauzer), the fair was no longer providing the city with the revenue draw that was its admitted original purpose.

A State Street area restaurant owner who asked not to be identified sobbed, "Time was, I'd move more Rolling Rock than you could shake a credit card at." Last year, his sales for the entire 5 days totalled 2 pints of shandy (sold to some confused English tourists) and a bottle of Mad Dog. "And what am I gonna do with all these leftover crawfish?" he added. A spokesman for the crawfish declined to comment.

The demise of the fair is generally traced to civic ordinances passed during the administration of Joseph "The Bohemian" McLuggage, the city's first (and so far only) Surrealist Party mayor. Elected during a moment of inattention on the part of the Republicans, McLuggage's brief ascendency resulted in a flurry of unusual laws, such as the creation of a Visual Environmental Protection Agency, charged with cleaning up toxic arts and crafts; the establishment of a "Superfund" to pay for a 75% reduction in the number of mini-vans; and the so-called "Brady Bill," named after Mert Brady, a University of Michigan software engineer who lost most of the feeling in his big toe after someone ran over it with a stroller. The Brady Bill requires a 30-year waiting period prior to the purchase of "wheeled infant transport assault vehicles," during which time the applicant is checked carefully for sanity, driving ability, and prior history of art fair attendance.

Staff at Ann Arbor's Odd Town Tavern feigned indifference to the loss of Art Fair revenue, claiming that most of their regular customers were only dimly aware of the annual event, anyway. Management also denied a report that a clandestine, unofficial "Tempeh Fair" was being planned for the alley behind the bar.

Oh, that K-mart kami-flage

Hilarious shot of a member of the armed forces, using his new "universal" camoflage to blend in with household surroundings.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

iPhone or not to iPhone

For me, that would be "not," since I rely on several 3rd party packages
that run on Palm OS, and I'm actually quite happy with a relatively new
Treo. But I will look forward to assessing the quality of the first
phone call I get from anyone of y'all from your new Jobs-box. Surely
somebody in our old gang of geeks is out there now, standing in line?

Here are some old whacks at Apple and its prior mistakes, that is, new
product extravaganzas:


AUTHOR CITES MULTIPLE DISCONTINUITIES

ANN ARBOR: PHILOSOPHY OF SCIENCE ACADEMICS ARE ENGAGING IN AN ESCALATION OF NUMBERED DISCONTINUITIES, IT SEEMS. IN THE COURSE OF DEVELOPING MAN'S VIEW OF THE UNIVERSE, AUTHORS CITE THREE TRADITIONAL DISCONTINUITIES THAT HAVE BEEN OVERCOME, NAMELY THE DISCONTINUITITY BETWEEN EARTH AND THE COSMOS, MAN AND ANIMALS, AND THE RATIONAL MIND AND THE SUBCONSCIOUS. THE ELIMINATIONS OF THESE THREE ARE USUALLY ASSOCIATED WITH COPERNICUS, DARWIN, AND FREUD. SO SAYS JON TURNEY, REVIEWING A BOOK CALLED "THE FOURTH DISCONTINUITY: THE CO-EVOLUTION OF HUMANS AND MACHINES" BY BRUCE MAZLISH. WRITING IN THE APRIL 23RD ISSUE OF "NEW SCIENTIST," TURNEY SAYS THAT MAZLISH GIVES US THE DISCONTINUITY BETWEEN HUMANS AND MACHINES AS THE FOURTH IN THIS SERIES OF BINARY CONUNDRUMS AND GOES ON TO QUOTE MAZLISH AS FOLLOWS:

"MY AIM IS THAT READERS WILL FEEL DEEPLY THAT THEY ARE THAT PARTICULAR EVOLUTIONARY CREATURE WHOSE ORIGINS ARE TO BE FOUND IN BOTH THE ANIMAL AND MACHINE KINGDOMS, WITH THE ANIMAL AND MECHANICAL QUALITIES TOGETHER INCORPORATED IN THE DEFINITION OF HUMAN NATURE."

MAZLISH IS APPARENTLY ONE OF THE STARRY-EYED GROUP THAT SEE THINKING MACHINES AS "A NEW PHASE IN EVOLUTION," AND FOR ALL WE KNOW, HE MAY BE RIGHT. HOWEVER, SOME DISAGREE, FIRST WITH HIS CHARACTERIZATION OF MAN/MACHINE AS THE "FINAL" DISCONTINUITY, AND OTHERS WITH THE VERY BASIS OF HIS ARGUMENT.

IN THE FIRST GROUP IS THE COMBINED FACULTY AND GLEE CLUB OF THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN'S CONSORTIUM FOR CUDGELING OTHERS INTO SILENCE WITH NITPICKING AND AD HOMINEM ABUSE. IN A JOINT PAPER, THEY POINTED OUT THE STILL-EXTANT DISCONTINUITIES BETWEEN SERBS AND MUSLIMS, BETWEEN HUTU AND TUTSI, BETWEEN VI AND EMACS, BETWEEN THOSE WITH INTERNET ACCESS AND THOSE USING PRODIGY, BETWEEN THOSE WHO BEGIN PHILOSOPHY OF SCIENCE ARTICLES WITH REFERENCES TO "JURASSIC PARK" AND THOSE WITH TWO BRAIN CELLS TO RUB TOGETHER, AND BETWEEN THOSE WHO THINK THE IDEA OF A FREE VERSION OF NEWT GINGRICH CALLED "GNEWT" IS A REAL THIGH-SLAPPER AND PRACTICALLY EVERYBODY I'VE MENTIONED IT TO.

THE SECOND GROUP OF DETRACTORS COMES FROM THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT WING OF CARNEGIE MELLON'S SOFTWARE ENGINEERING INSTITUTE. THEY DISPUTE WHAT THEY CONSIDER THE BLASPHEMOUS NOTION THAT COMPUTERS EVOLVED FROM MAN, ALTHOUGH THEY ADMIT THAT THE NEWTON DOES SHOW SOME SIMILARITIES TO THE AVERAGE SIXTH-GRADER. "OK, SO IT'S SMALL, AND IT CAN'T SPELL," SAID AN ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR WHO ASKED NOT TO BE IDENTIFIED AS AN ANCESTOR OF THE IBM PC JR. HE POINTED OUT THAT THE BELLEVUE, PA, POLICE DEPARTMENT IS USING NEWTONS, RUNNING SOFTWARE WRITTEN BY CARNEGIE MELLON STUDENTS, AND THAT THIS HAS RESULTED IN 143 ARRESTS OF PEOPLE FOR SELLING RUGS. HE DENIED, HOWEVER, THAT 4 FELONS HAD BEEN RELEASED BECAUSE COURTS WERE UNABLE TO FIND ANY LAWS AGAINST "ARMORED RUBBERY."

WAIT STAFF AT THE ODD TOWN TAVERN ANGRILY DENIED THAT THEY WERE THE ANCESTORS OF MICROPROCESSOR-CONTROLLED TOASTER OVENS.

-30-

Wanna work for Google?

Check this entry in one of the innumerable CNET blogs, first. I didn't find it especially surprising, particularly including their disinterest in experience -- so much of their stuff acts like they just thought it up and launched it.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Deploying New Technology

My new hat, new sunglasses, and new crutches

After a couple of shots at cooking whilst hobbling around on one crutch, we were brainstorming other possibilities -- and the notion of a casters-equipped, height-adjustable bar stool came up. I could scoot around on it, both hands available, do prep, watch things on the stove, even load/unload the dishwasher. But where would you ever get such a thing?

Ha! One search on the internet brought Linda to http://www.sourcemedicalequipment.com/, where they have a vast array of "task chairs." I have a deluxe version on its way, complete with a big height range, foot rest, special hard-floor casters, multi-port fuel injection, and the ability to run on premium unleaded, biodiesel, or leftover Riesling. Cain't hardly wait.

Meanwhile, situation with hip improves day to day, somewhat slowly. I may actually be back "at work," although virtually, not literally, as early as next week.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

A toe hold

In what the media is comparing to the US troop surge in Iraq, 50% of one cook
was redeployed to the kitchen green zone at our house last night. Specially
trained in techniques such as moving one thing at a time around in the left hand while moving into combat on a single crutch in the right, US forces were able to prepare a sausage with balsamic reduction pasta sauce from scratch, while other units focused on dog walks and on moving heavy weapons such as pots of boiling water.

"It is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is the end of the beginning," said Winston Churchill.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

How efficient

The argument went like this: A tumor in your hip has removed enough bone that you are extremely likely to fracture something down there, and then it'll be non-trivial to repair. So let's do the repair first, before the fracture occurs, and that'll be trivial, and you'll be walking around in a couple of days.

We pondered this, and decided that "trivial" sounded Ok, and had the surgery. But recovery the last week has been painful and far, far short of "walking around." More like crawling around.

So yesterday, we had the followup-appointment with the osteopod and some x-rays. Turns out that either during or immediately after the surgery, we also had the fracture! Who knew? Neither us nor the doc who was equally surprised to see the pics. Nothing more to be done, since the procedure he did was exactly what he would have done, anyway, and the various kinds of pain, need for crutches for weight-bearing, etc. is explained by the break, so it's still better to have it all over with, but the recovery from the, um, surgery/fracture won't be quite as quick as they thought -- more like a couple of months than a couple of days.

Things somehow, seemed to look up yesterday, though, whether it had anything to do with knowing what's going on in there or actual improvement. I'm hobbling with more vigor, although cooking is an issue, since I can a) move around or b) carry things, not both. But if given a chair and a table, I can do immoble kinds of prep like shelling peas and giving instruction to sous chefs, and so we tried out team-cooking chicken and rice with fresh peas, last night, to great success. Timing is an issue, since I used to cook while Linda gave Coney her evening walk, but we'll work that out, too.

And no, before you ask, we did not watch the last of the Soprano's. To those who did, our condolences, and may your grief be short lived.