Just on the off chance ...

One of our close friends has recently entered the fromage biz. She maintains that I was the first one to make any cheese shop quips. In case you're one of the 3 or 4 people, world-wide, who aren't familiar with it, here's the initial version of the Cheese Shop Sketch.

Later versions, both audio-only and a live stage version, performed in the US when Python were on tour, tweak the dialog a bit, substituting, for example, a more explicit adverb in the phrase "I don't care how excrementally runny it is, hand it over with all speed." Nevertheless, the version linked here remains the original, doctrinally pure reading of the text.

For those interested, culinary concerns were a continuing thread in the work of M. Python, ranging from such oblique references as the fish-slapping dance to the more thoroughly explored themes of deliberately-introduced harmful substances and the iconic rat tart exposition.

A helpful suggestion

There's a new McCain ad that says Obama may be too popular -- too many people like him. If that turns out to be a real minus, I have a suggestion. Offer the Democratic Vice-presidential slot to George W. Bush. That'll fix the problem, tout suite.

As a comic, in all seriousness (as Eugene Levy's character, Bobby Bitman, used to say,) if I were in charge of McCain's advertising, I'd really question the wisdom of an ad showing his opponent as the center of adoring attention.

In an even more comic, though apparently true, development, the Hiltons are upset about the ad, which features news footage of what McCain thinks are Obama-like celebrities, such as ... yes, Paris Hilton.

Thanks to our favorite Saturday morning entertainment, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, for bringing this to our attention.

Can you identify this building?

How big a process geek are you? Hint: it's not a Starbucks, and it is in Pittsburgh.

Yes, friends, it's Carnegie Mellon University's Software Engineering Institute, home of CMMI-DEV, CMMI-ACQ, and soon, CMMI-SVC. I just got back from a week there, drinking the Kool-aid. Go ahead, ask me what maturity level risk management is assigned to. Ask me the difference between a managed and defined process. Go 'head, Command Sargeant Major, whip it to me. I know my shit. (Michael Casey, Obscenities)

Nothing much to add ...

I have raw video footage to work on, but no time this week. And I didn't take a camera to the art fair, more's the pity. But I can report that, oddly enough, the Pork Council or whoever's in charge of the "America's Other White Meat" slogan was present and apparently a sponsor. Why?

More questionable publishing ventures

I got another Daedalus catalog, "History," and there's a troubling number of biographies and attempted rehabs of criminal characters, viz:

• Blacklisted by History: the untold story of Joseph McCarthy and his fight against America's enemies, by M. Stanton Evans; the thesis of this book is claimed to be that McCarthy was not "... a lying Communist (sic) witch hunter and bully ..." Huh. Could have fooled me.
  
• Polk: the man who transformed the presidency and America, by Walter R. Borneman. "...the reasons why he was one of America's most astute and powerful presidents." Again: Huh.
  
• Not one but two bios of Walt Disney, for Christ's sake
  
• Rocky Marciano: The Rock of His Times, by Russell Sullivan. Reading about a boxer has to be right up there with watching golf on TV.
  
• Lion of Hollywood: the Life and Legend of Louis Mayer, by Scott Eyman Perhaps appropriately sandwiched on the page between the Marciano book and the one following.
  
• Blackshirt: Sir Oswald Mosley and British Fascism, by Stephen Doril. For the record, this book isn't, apparently, any kind of an apology for Mosley, but you still won't like the ending (Mosley didn't get hanged, post-war, as he certainly should have been.)
  
• Again on the same page, one above the other: Young Stalin, by Simon Sebag Montefiore and Richard M. Nixon: A Life in Full, by Conrad Black. Two in the series, Great Paranoid National Leaders.
  

And of course, if biographies of the wild n' wacky aren't your thing, there's the usual crop of books by wackos in their own right:

• Non-violence: The History of a Dangerous Idea, by Mark Kurlanski. "... argues that any war could have been avoided by non-violent means ..." Perhaps uncoincidentally, the same page offers Profiles in Folly: History's Worst Decisions, by Alan Axelrod. If you read the first, I'd suggest following up with the second, just as an antidote.
  
• And finally, just to reassure us that the likes of Barry Fell are still with us, there's 1434: The Year a Magnificent Chinese Fleet Sailed to Italy and Ignited the Renaissance, by Gavin Menzies. Mr. Menzies, you should know, is also the author of a book called 1421: The Year China Discovered America, which claims, among other things, that Verrazano saw Chinese people in Rhode Island in 1542. There are many, many theorists of this ilk, and they make great reading, as long as you keep firmly in mind that they're barking mad.
  

Tree Trouble

So 8:00 PM, Wednesday night, I'm sitting on the couch and the weather is getting dicey outside. Suddenly, the wind picks up, and all hell breaks loose.
Basically, a giant old box elder tree, right at the corner of four lots, finally came apart. A few years back, part of it came down on a neighbor's house, but the result was nothing like this. The pictures here are from today, Saturday, after the tree crew has been by and cleaned up enough for the utility to get to the downed power lines.
The weight of the tree on the wires snapped the 70-year-old utility pole like a twig. We had fence damage, some damage to gutters -- not sure yet if there's any roof damage. The insurance folks will be around next week to look into it.
Power was off for about 30 hours, give or take. The ironic thing was that our sparkling new generator was one of the things buried under pieces of tree, so it did us no good. If you've been in our back yard, you'll recognize that it's essentially full -- a whole yard full of tree shards. Sometime next week. a tree service will be coming to rectify that.

WRT box elders, Dirr's Hardy Trees and Shrubs spends a couple of paragraphs damning them with faint praise: "For those areas of the country where tree culture is fraught with difficulty, this species can be recommended." (Trans: if nothing else will grow, try a box elder.) "Wood is subject to breakage ..." (Trans: Duck and cover!)

Drink for thought

Stealing this from the current Kermit Lynch newsletter. A positive note in an otherwise negative storm:

---

"The specter of globalization that is so often used to frighten French
winemakers is really only a concern for those who have chosen to compete
with ‘new world’ wines. It doesn't aƒect winemakers who are driven
by conviction, philosophy, or passion. They've chosen the high road and will
be fine.” —Antoine Arena

---

Arena is a Corsican wine maker. I'll be checking with Matt at Morgan and York to see if any this stuff is going to make it to Michigan.

The Arizona Tourist Board Presents

Why it's great in Michigan.

The Next Leader of N. Korea?

Itchycoo Park.

Hidden clues to failure

One of my favorite book sellers is a mostly-remainder place called Daedalus Books. They have a web presence, of course, but I also get print catalogs, and I always enjoy going through them, looking for books that cater to my strange set of interests but not to a large enough audience that they were a success in the market. (Kind of the at-home version of going to the old Afterwords store, RIP).

Anyway, not to make this too long and drawn out, it's always amusing to speculate on the reasons why a book that was published at, say, $39.95, is available from Daedalus for $3.98. Some, however, don't require speculation. Consider the following, quoted from the most recent catalog:

• Are men necessary? By Maureen Dowd.
  
• Glass: A Portrait, by Robert Maycock. "Philip Glass occupies a unique place in modern classical composition." Yes, yes he does. Quite Unique.
  
• Horse Housekeeping: Everything you need to know to keep a horse at home, by Margaret and Michael Korda.
  
• Mimomania: Music and Gesture in Nineteenth Century Opera, by Mary Ann Smart. "Mimomania is a thoughtful meditation on the persistence and transformation of the musical mimicry of bodily gesture ..." I got your bodily gesture right here!
  
• The Quotable Farm Animal, Ed. by Amy Glaser
  
• The Whole Hog: Exploring the Extraordinary Potential of Pigs, by Lyall Watson
  
• The Bastard Boy, by James Wilson. "Who is the Bastard Boy, and why are so many people intent on keeping Ned from finding him?"
  
• Curiosity Killed the Cat Sitter, by Blaize Clement. "Checking in on her favorite gray Abyssinian cat, Ghost, she's found a man drowned in the cat's water bowl."
  
• Gascoyne, by Stanley Crawford. "... hunting down the killer -- last seen slithering away from the crime scene in a tree sloth costume ..."
  
• Hanna's Daughters, by Marianne Fredricksson. "This sweeping story traces 100 years of Scandinavian history ..."
  
• (And my favorite this month) The Last Templar, by Raymond Khoury. "... the book leaps (from the 13th century) to post- 9/11 Manhattan, when four horsemen in Templar garb burst into the Metropolitan Museum of Art and make off with ..."
  

This sort of thing helps explain why modern yoof don't read much, anymore.