What could possibly go wrong?

Hand up, everyone who knows what the phrase "reactive armor" means. Ok. Ok. Very good. Now, hand up, everyone who would like to wear it.

Recon report

Operating as I am five or more (in some cases, many more) years ahead of most of y'all (age wise, anyway), here's a brief note on something you can expect to encounter in a while: cataracts. All the steroids I took in 2007 and 2008 gave me a big honkin' blur in my left eye, and just last week, I had it dealt with. So far, I'm a satisfied customer. No longer wearing glasses for distance vision, for the first time since I was 12. Near range is another story, but the sheer convenience of wearing just any old pair of non-prescription sunglasses is worth the price of admission.

The procedure is mostly trivial -- expect to blow half a day, plus lining up the usual "responsible adult" to transport you. No pain, briefly sedated, lots of drops in the eye. What you get is the damaged lens removed and a nice new synthetic one implanted -- which of course won't develop cataracts of its own, so barring complications, once you do an eye, it's done.

Shop Local - redux

A while back, I posted my own personal buy local list, saying that "things are tough ..." Well, they haven't gotten any easier, and I believe I'll just repost the list, perhaps with an update or two. Again, if you want these folks to be around, you need to buy from them -- not the big-box stores. Sorry if that's stating the obvious, but I get the impression that not everyone understands it.

Wine, Deli, Chocolates	Morgan and York	1928 Packard, Ann Arbor 48104	734 769 9770	http://morganandyork.com/
As we say in Ann Arbor, "you know, the old Big Ten Party Store." Repeatedly voted Best Wine Shop. Especially in the realm of small French labels and Kermit Lynch - imported values, this is the place. Update 2009 03 16: see Matt's Wine Buying Trip journal.
Wine	Everyday Wines	407 N. Fifth Ave - 1st Floor Ann Arbor, MI 48104	734.827.WINE	http://www.everyday-wines.blogspot.com/
Just as the name implies, Mary Campbell's shop is dedicated to affordable wines. Update 2009 03 16: not the easiest place to see from the street, but always worth a trip.
Produce, high-end groceries, wine	Produce Station	1629 S. State St. Ann Arbor MI 48104	734.663.7848	http://www.producestation.com/visit.php
With the exception of the Farmer's Market in season, there is no better place for produce in Ann Arbor, period. Small, inconvenient to get to and get around in, it's worth the effort. Unofficial Rules: do not use a full size grocery cart (even though they have them), do not bring children. Update 2009 03 16: Produce Station has invested in wine and beer as an additional source of revenue, and they do tend to have a good selection of Spanish reds, if you're looking for Tempranillo.
Deli, luxury foods, coffee beans, bread	Zingerman's	422 Detroit Street, Ann Arbor MI 48104	888.636.8162	http://www.zingermans.com/default.aspx
Although Zingerman's is the Superpower of local vendors, with aspirations to a global reach via their mail order side, they're still local, and they still roast a fine coffee bean.
Produce, meats, plants	Ann Arbor Farmers Market	315 Detroit St, Ann Arbor 48103	734 994-3276	http://kerrytown.org/detail.asp?id=336
In season, the best produce available. In the winter, a desolate tundra of crafts and wreaths. I mark the return of reasonable weather in the area by the reappearance of edible things at the market. Unofficial rules: no strollers! Update 2009 03 16: still not much edible, but Spring is coming!
Produce, groceries, wine	Fresh Seasons Market	2281 W Liberty St, Ann Arbor MI 48103	(734) 662-6000	(nothing useful yet as a website)
Again, "the old Coleman's Market." Not on my beat, but Northwest Side residents swear by it.
Meats, produce, groceries	Sparrow Market	415 N. Fifth Ave - 1st Floor Ann Arbor MI 48104	734.761.8175	http://www.kerrytown.com/sparrowmeats/index.html
There is no better, more consistent source of meat in Ann Arbor, with the possible exception of the actual raisers who come to the Farmer's Market. The rest of Sparrow's empire in Kerrytown is pretty darn good, too. Update 2009 03 16: Bob and company seem to be hanging in there, and it's coming up on lamb season!
Meat	Hannewald Lamb	Stockbridge MI 49285 (in the Farmer's Market, too)	517-851-4718	http://arbormarket.googlepages.com/hannewaldlamb
A local raiser, with a Farmer's Market presence. The absolute best lamb I've ever cooked, and nice dog treats, too.
Smoked fish etc.	Durham's Tracklements	212 East Kingsley Street Ann Arbor MI 48104	734-930-6642	http://www.tracklements.com/contact.php
Nationally-known source for great smoked fish and other smoked animals. In fact, a tiny hole in the wall on the north side of Kerrytown. Wonderful stuff.
Groceries	Busch's	various	various	http://buschs.com/
Although Busch's exhibits most of the faults of supermarkets, it is, at least, a local enterprise. If you absolutely, positively have to shop at a supermarket, these are slightly better than the other places. Not recommended for anything that perishes or comes in grades of quality, such as fish, meat, deli, or produce.
Dog-related Stuff	Dog-o-Mat	various	various	http://www.dog-o-mat.com/
The retail presence of Carolyn's Ann Arbor dog empire, including the most exclusive dog recreational facility in the area, Pawrun.

And of course, here at the places I beg of you not to spend your money.

Whole Foods: all marketing, all the time, with marginally better quality perishables than low-end supermarkets and a predatory approach to local competition. You spend more for what you buy and get far less value. Not a place to buy wine, either; if you can spell "Bordeaux," let alone pronounce it, you will know more than the wine staff.

Trader Joe's: just say no. There is nothing here that you want, and most of it is of very dubious provenance. Again, the staff know nothing that you don't already know.

Kroger's, Meier's, Wal-Mart, Sam's Club, Costco, etc. There is absolutely no viable cost/quality equation you can come up with that justifies shopping with these people. None. Don't try.

Matt Morgan's Wine Journal

Our good pal, Matt Morgan of Morgan and York is on a buying trip to various vintners in France. His illustrated trip report is here -- good reading if you're a fan of non-Parkerized, real wines.

Tempers flare, shoes fly

To believe or not ... according to this conspiracy theorist, Iranian President Ahmadinejad was himself the victim of a shoeing, after a bit of a PR issue (his motorcade running down a local). The Iranian Govt. denies it. Take your pick. But if it's true, then it seems we may have a dangerous trend of escalation going on here -- it's no longer enough to fling pies at those of whom we disapprove. Shoes (presumably) hurt more.

Dinga Dinga Dee

You really need to see this state-of-the-imbecile marketing video from Israeli arms provider, Rafael. Nothing I could say would add to the wonder of it all.

Parliamo dei pesci

Good evening. Tonight, I'd like to speak to you about fish. But first, I'd like to take as my text, a restaurant review in New York magazine, titled, "Get Serious: David Burke's Fishtail ..." oh, never mind. It's not really worth your time, since it's about another silly NY restaurant, opened by another silly NY chef, serving more silly rubbish like Monkfish paella, calamari mac and cheese, and so on. My point is simply that the things the author liked were halibut, und zu wieder -- the simple fish.

For Christ's sake, who eats halibut anymore? Dover sole? Monkfish?

Dear friends, I have come back to you from the land of fish, and I bring you the truth: Moi and Sea Trout. Ono sandwiches, for all love! Ahi curry soup! Tanned young pan-Asians who whisper softly, "Our fresh catch of the day is Ono ..."

A fair land, where one drifts gently into Sensui retail seafood outlet and comes away with 3.5 pounds of Ono filet to feed a multitude (all right, nine) of hungry howlie, cut in half, spread with a pesto of fresh ginger, basil, garlic, and shallots, wrapped in foil, and baked for 45 minutes or so.

A place where enough twitching-fresh shrimp can be had in Chinatown to feed the same crew of round-eyes for six dollars and 50 cents, even as the other guests at the hotel dine on bratwurst and beans.

An island (several of 'em, in fact) where fish farms have out-front restaurants to feed you Mahi Mahi and Moi (yes, I said Moi, the legendary fish of great unavailability) and where the most unprepossessing, main-street, touristy places serve an entire snapper, steamed with a ginger/onion sauce for two, to be oh-so-respectfully torn apart with chopsticks, while lesser breeds without the law look on in wonder (or mild disinterest, depending on your perception.)

I wouldn't want to live there, but I loved the food.

Like Douglas MacArthur ...

... we have returned.

Actually, that's just about the only thing we have in common with Douglas MacArthur. Let's see: MacArthur - commanded a vast army that re-took the Pacific from the Japanese. Me - command a small crew of bureaucrats. MacArthur - advocated the use of nuclear weapons in the Korean war. Me - advocate a boycott of Whole Foods. MacArthur - smoked a corncob pipe. Me - occasionally make corncob broth for use in risotto.

But he was in Hawaii from time to time, and so were we. But we're back. The photo is my initial pick of a vast number - sunrise from the shore, outside the house we stayed in.

What's for dinner?

We celebrated Valentine's day (which is also Coney Dog's service anniversary and the anniversary of moving into our current headquarters) by dining at a quaint little neighborhood spot -- oh, all right, our house -- with oyster stew and thyme croutons (using the White Dog Cafe's recipe); fettuccine with crimini, zucchini, and peperoni; and roast chicken with onions and rosemary. Why do you care? You probably don't.

Another one from the archves

This was written, at least according to the date, on 01/01/2000, apparently to mark the turning over of the century or something. Not sure, actually, what I was talking about, but here it is, claiming to be a piece resurrected from a hundred years back.

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Woode-Charles Intelligencer and The Scio Township Farmer's Voice

All the herein under found material is the sole property and the copyright of which is held by, in the year of our Lord, 1900, by the Woode-Charles Family, its heirs and assigns.

FOUNDATIONS OF THE REPUBLIC THREATENED

GREAT FEARS FOR THE FUTURE

Ann Arbor: Although it is not our custom to rant or to take up lightly a potentially controversial position, this paper can no longer remain silent in the matter of this most dangerous and insidious tendency of our elected officials, loosely termed by them and even by those opposed to them as "progressivism." For so-called progressivism, make no mistake, threatens the very foundations of our republic and the cornerstones of our individual liberties. And lest anyone should consider the danger to be slight or the threat to be far removed, they have only to remind themselves that our state government is even now in the hands of a man very closely associated with progressivism, none less than the ex-Mayor of the City of Detroit, Hazen Pingree.

What are Governor Pingree's associations and his intents? Recall, first of all, that he is usually mentioned in the same breath with such wild- eyed radicals as Mayors Johnson and Baker of Cleveland, those very anarchists who championed the municipal ownership of utilities, taking the bread from the mouths of those who invested their hard-earned capital in the development of righteous monopolies. And is he, Pingree, not also stamped from the same mold as that raving madman, Robert La Follette, now striving to sway the good people of Wisconsin from their steady, American values and convince them to elect him, too, to the position of Governor? What can we expect from these savage, bomb- flinging fiends, if we allow them to continue their assault upon our virtues? Allow us to suggest a few likely if not inevitable consequences of the unchecked growth of the progressive view of society.

GENERAL ASSOCIATIONS OF PROFESSIONS

Is it not bad enough that mere laboring men now band together to stymie the legitimate aims of capital? What if, as they now threaten to do, the educated classes, such as doctors, continue their steps toward consolidation? We understand that in a very few years, a nationwide association of physicians may come into being, stifling by its very orthodoxy the creativity and enterprise of the individual experimenter and the noble institution of midwifery. And let us not even imagine the results of a similar combination of members of the legal profession -- the thought is too horrible to entertain.

DEPENDENCE ON AN UNHOLY PRIESTHOOD

It is commonly known that progressives hold as their highest aim the development of a society run by engineers and with efficiency its summum bonum. The tract published last year by Mr. Thorstein Veblen makes this extremely clear. What it does not state is the condition of slavery to which the majority of Americans would be reduced by such a lunatic philosophy. Imagine a society in which engineers were the leaders! Imagine the horror of even polite conversation, sprinkled with the language of the engine room, the drafting table, and the logarithm! Imagine the fate of a people, so besotted with technology that they allow themselves to be swept up in its cold, unfeeling embrace, abandoning the delights of the table, the hearth, and even the boudoir!

CRIPPLING CONGESTION OF OUR CITIES

The progressives, as is well known, advocate nothing less than increased freedom and participation in society for women. However, if women are allowed these liberties, will not their unquestioned frailness require new devices and conveyances? What woman, burdened with children and livestock, can handle a full-sized carriage or buckboard wagon? Will it not be necessary for a family to have two vehicles, one for him and one for her? Will our streets not become choked to impassability with these new, miniature carriages, driven poorly and often in the improper direction?

EMASCULATION OF MAN'S BEST FRIEND

Dogs and their bustling, robust American nobleness are another target of the vile progressives. It has been clearly determined from private documents that Pingree and his ring of accomplices have a plan to introduce small, foreign, even German dogs into Michigan, eventually supplanting our virile, healthy hounds with yapping, mindless little informers and socialists, carrying tales back to their masters in Lansing while you and I sleep the uneasy, dream-ridden sleep of the just but persecuted ...

(Note: the Editor, Mr. Woode, did not finish that last sentence in time for the paper to be set up in type, owing to a sudden fit. The management apologizes for the truncated nature of this week's editorial and hopes to resume a full and open discourse on the health of the state in the weeks to come. -- R. Ludwig Charles, Publisher.)

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The Woode-Charles Intelligencer and The Scio Township Farmer's Voice is supplied with funds to continue its crusade for the rights of the businessman, the farmer, and the landed gentry by the kind offices of The Odd Town Tavern, where the sons of liberty and justice repair once a week to refresh themselves, seek enlightenment, and draw up lists of names for the coming week's tar-and-featherings.