54 Years Ago Last September

2014 04 20: Update:
I am now half way through the book referenced below (which isn't exactly new, it turns out. More like 2011), and the picture is even murkier.  I'll report when I'm done with it.

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In September, 1961, a guy named Dag Hammarskjöld died in a plane crash in Africa.  Lots of people died in Africa, that year, many of them from the effects of post-colonialism, otherwise known as "Goodbye and thanks for all the money". Mr. Hammarskjöld's death would be just one among many except for his being Secretary General of the United Nations.  He was going to take charge of a situation that the UN's inexperience with proxy wars had created: UN troops were in actual offensive and defensive combat with the forces of a state, Katanga; it was trying to secede from the rest of what had been the Belgian Congo.  The rebels were mostly anti-communists, and the government they were trying to get away from were to some extent honeyed-up to the the Soviet Union. After the crash, many lengthy investigations took place, and nobody ended up pointing a finger at a cause -- hostile action, malfunction, operator error, weather: nobody could say conclusively what happened. 

Now, apparently spurred on by a book that collects all sorts of conspiracy hypotheses and previously-suppressed data, the UN is opening or pushing to open a new investigation.  But what's interesting to me is that one theory (and a pretty good one, based on limited knowledge and data) is that Hammarskjöld's DC-6 was shot down by another aircraft, and the aircraft may have been a relatively modern Fouga Magister jet trainer, flown by a Belgian mercenary, Jan van Risseghem.  Mr. van Risseghem was a WWII veteran, an accomplished pilot, and in charge of the Katangan "air force".  One source says he was "the pilot" of the rebel leader, Moise Tshombe.

It took me most of the morning to search my way through the various threads of this thing, and all I can conclude is the classic "we need more data". There are a number of smoking guns, including a radio transmission from someone flying a plane at the time and more or less the place, telling someone else that he saw a plane, yes it's the right plane, I'm making a run on it, (sound of guns,) I hit it.  That sounds a touch glib, but that's what's claimed.

So anyway, I'm going to read Who Killed Hammarskjöld?: The UN, the Cold War and White Supremacy in Africa shortly.  But I have to point out that another recent book, Clash by Night, by some guy named McConnell, has a lot to do with tiny African air forces and European mercenaries flying their planes around.  He swears he hadn't heard any of the above when he was writing it.

Helpful suggestions

Two low-level Russian diplomats were -- very allegedly -- recorded or somehow overheard joking about their country's next acquisitions, including parts of Italy, the United Kingdom, and the US.  Always ready to take advantage of drunken Stalinist simpletons help out the underdeveloped world, we have some suggestions for places they might want to consider:

• Sudan and/or South Sudan
• Afghanistan
• Texas

No complaints or pushback from neighboring countries would be forthcoming.

Key indicator down at end of week

Today's scorecard includes several data points that are expected to factor into a slight downward variance in the International Rubbish Index (1).

Segolene Royal, the ex-wife of French President Hollande (as opposed to the ex-live-in- partner or the girlfriend for whom he dumped the latter) has been brought back into the cabinet, despite her lack of real depth in areas such as nuclear energy. Last time she was in charge of things, she said publically that France depended on nukes for 17% of its energy, whereas the real number was 77%. This comes at a time when France is dithering its way toward backing out of its near-criminal reliance on nuclear power, and so there is some concern with this frankly silly management change. Score: -1.

A man who hit a 10 year old boy in Detroit when the youth stepped out in front of the man's pickup was mobbed, beaten into a coma, and robbed as well. A Detroit police sergeant said "... this is not conducive to how the city of Detroit generally handles things...” For the sheer nerve of that statement: Score: -2.
2014 04 09: update: he wasn't robbed. That was a rumor.

And an ad on the back cover of Archaeology Magazine touts tourism in Texas, concluding with the slogan "Texas: It's like a whole other country." Score: Here's hopin': +1.

In summary, adding the indicators produced a net reduction in the IRI, leaving it down 2.

(1) The International Rubbish Index or IRI is an indicator of the extent to which things appear to be going to hell in a handcart. It is maintained and published by the Research Institute of Michigan, a subsidiary of Wood-Charles Associates.

Always on the cutting edge

While he still maintains that Facebook is just a passing fad, beloved leader J. F. McLuggage has finally agreed to take a step into the twenty-first century and give Twitter a try. @jfmcluggage immediately gathered a following of millions, worldwide, with the heaviest representation being among citizens of the Crimea.

"Oh, glorious day", said Nicholaivich Upski, of West Sebastopol, " Not only we are happy new citizens fabulous Russian not-empire, but now we can follow Wood Charles News Service thing!"

In Turkey, the Prime Minister immediately rescinded his ban on Twitter. "I know when I'm licked", he was quoted as saying.

Scary Canadian Politician Talks Values

Quebec women's rights advocate explains the metric system why the Parti Quebecois must prevail in ensuring the right of white people to continue acting like white people.

2014 04 09: update: the PQ got its Eurocentric Butt kicked in the election.  Also, M. Drainville isn't the head of the PQ, he's just one of its Ministers.  Pauline Marois was the head until she resigned after the disastrous election she called, herself.  In military terms, she ordered an air strike on her own position.

Pauline Marois

In the angst and stomach acid generated by various separatist groups (e.g, Christians and Muslims in the Central African Republic trying to separate themselves from each other with machetes; the Crim Tartars demanding to be separated from the newly-separated Crimea; and the Scots seeking to separate themselves from the Limeys but keep on using their money because they don't have the technical resources to create a digital currency, the JockCoin), it's easy to overlook the long-running attempt of the Francophone peoples of Canada to separate themselves from reality.  Part of their platform involves something called a "values charter" which lays out the basic set of values they think a good citizen ought to have. In order to explain how this actually preserves civil rights rather than restricting them to those who look like the people in the picture above, Janette Bertrand used a metaphor about a swimming pool, scantily clad white women, and thinly-disguised middle-eastern men.  Even the pasty white guy head of the PQ, Bernard Drainville, shown standing patronizingly behind her, seems by his expression to be thinking "Elle est complètement folle".

Attention Collectors!

Once again, we present three fine items that were proudly featured in a catalog that we received.  Get out that credit card, cash out the trust fund.  These are must-have items!

Ideal for putting out Serbian fires. "One size fits most."

"Italian Military Surplus Cruet / Carafe Set."  Really. Read it for yourself.  April First is tomorrow, not today.

When was the last time you saw a "Military Surplus" item with cute, colored bubble design things on it?  Recently declassified DoD material indicates that these hats were part of a camouflage scheme for covert operations in WalMart stores.

Great for everyday wear around the house or in your Mother's basement while watching "My Little Pony."

That's enough of that.  Now for something completely different.

I hear and obey, Dear Leader

North Korea has (it is claimed -- remember the "Uncle-fed-to-dogs" rumor of a while back) mandated that all males must have the Kim Jong Un hair cut. 

Far be it from me to fight city hall.

DuChamp Rides Again

Sunday morning, sun shining, still and cold; a toilet seat abandoned at a BP station.  Political comment or simple incompetence: you decide.




By early afternoon, it was gone.  McConnell says he's going to work it into his next book, somehow. I know we'll all be looking forward to that.

Blatant International Aggression

Bad timing in the world of international thought experiments.  If I were going to advocate for a large, well-armed, well-funded company country taking over a smaller, more primitive, and less-prepared neighbor, I wouldn't have done it right this month.  Nevertheless, author Diane Francis is apparently unapologetic for the opinions expressed in her book, Merger of the Century. She proposes nothing less than a US takeover of Canada.

Okay, she calls it a "merger", but we all know how that works out. Just ask the Philippines. Or Panama.  If we don't get enough respect from the Russian Federation over the Crimea thing, it's not hard to imagine Washington cooking up a distraction. We start by painting Rob Ford in darker and darker tones, internationally. Then we claim that "extremists" in Prince Edward Island are threatening our vital sources of shellfish.  There are some Iroquois First Nations people blockading roads right now (really), and we can say they're being brutally oppressed by a ruthless majority (they are, more or less, but that's beside the point).  We cozy up to the Quebec separatists, and then publish a CIA report that says this winter's weather was really manufactured in Ottawa.  We seize one of their warships and tow it to Pearl Harbor.  The forts at Michilimackinac, Mackinac Island, and Detroit are re-militarized. Littoral Combat Ships appear on the St. Lawrence. Armored vehicles are re-equipped to be poutine-resistant. Oh, it'll be just awful.

Anyway, it probably won't happen.  Probably.  But if I were Stephen Harper, I'd be looking for support from ... hmmm. Somebody. England, maybe?  Nah, they're too busy trying to scare the Scots into voting against devolution. Oh, I know: France! Canada can buy the two Mistral-class ships the French won't be selling to Russia. That'll scare us off.

Let's go McConnelling

If you don't know about McConnelling, just Google it.  I haven't got the energy to explain.