Let's pretend ...

... that I'm a political pundit.

"So, Jon, I have to say, isn't this just like the Republicans? I mean, here's a so-called conservative, Mark Sanford, supposedly a friend of the working guy, a populist, or so he'd like us to believe, and he does something like this!. Elliot Spitzer, a flaming liberal if there ever was one, he at least did his dirty business with good old fashioned American small business! But Sanford, he outsources it to the third world! He's taking food out of the mouths of the American sex worker! Shades of Ross Perot -- I hear a giant sucking sound! And as if that weren't bad enough, where does he choose to do his horsing around? The very country that once staged a vicious attack on our most staunch ally in the war against, um, things! What would Reagan say? Margaret Thatcher is spinning in her grave! Although, yes, I know she's not dead yet, but I mean come on! What next? Larry Craig vacationing in Venezuela? Gingrich galavanting in Guatemala? How much will the American people stand?"

And so on and so on. It's soft targets like this that make me envy Letterman.