Questions, always questions

For no good reason whatsoever, I was looking around the snopes.com site (they collect and categorize dubious claims, urban myths, and other legends,) and ran across the list of probably apocryphal dumb questions asked by Olympics visitors in various locations through the years.

I say "probably apocryphal," partly to show off by using a big word and partly because the list is clearly just edited for different venues of the Olympics. However, it did cause me to think about our own upcoming influx of sun-addled imbeciles art fair, and how we might want to develop a similar list of our own. Here's a start:

• How do you get to Zingerman's? Head east on Washtenaw and keep walking until you witness a drive-by shooting. Then ask.
  
• Where can I park? Drive south on M-23 until you get to Cabela's. Or, if they're full up, here's an address on Berkley Avenue you can try.
  
• Do they speak English in Ann Arbor? No, everyone here communicates by signal flags or in Latin.
  
• What does it mean, "One Way?" I think you'll find that it doesn't matter.
  
• How long is it? That's rather a personal question.