The world on mushrooms

Maybe it's just the cold. Maybe my expectations of rationality in world affairs are miscalibrated.  Maybe I need to get out more. Here are some stories, gathered from just this morning's news,  that make me feel as though the rest of humanity is insane or I am. Judge for yourself.

• Brussels mayor's shorts stolen: in a story headlined "Brussels mayor's signed undies stolen from bar", UPI reports that the aforesaid unmentionables were ripped off from a bar's Museum of Underpants. The bar is owned, by the way, by an anarchist and film maker.
• Parrot runs for office in Belarus: And then withdraws from the election because the office in question wasn't "... very prestigious."
• Mandela statue has rabbit in ear:  So someone responsible for the creation of a statue honoring the late Nelson Mandela "carved" a rabbit in one ear.  Of the statue. Not their own.
• Russia Lib Dem pol advises Obama to divorce: He says Michelle is a distraction.
• Shrimp mayo Doritos: Get 'em while they're weird. But only until March 17. Japan. What else can I say?
• Glenn Beck sorry: Well, he didn't actually say he was sorry for "tearing the country apart." Actually, he seems to be a bit proud of it. Hubris in place, cue nemesis.
• Photos of pigs censored:  By the NYT. In Malaysia. Because it is "... a Muslim country."  Not the whole pig, apparently, just the faces. The faces?!?
• Captain and Tennille divorcing: Shocking. I didn't know they were still alive, but even so ... shocking.

Oh, and some singer -- Beebo or something like that -- was arrested for drag racing his Lamborghini against a Ferrari, in the street, while intoxicated, at 4 AM. In Miami.

Also, note the nice job I did of tagging this post.  You won't see that kind of metadata on Fox News.