Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf is apparently channelling the spirit of Rodney Dangerfield. This from a Griff Witte Washington Post Foreign Service analysis this morning.
"I bluntly say you always leave me alone in time of trial and tribulation," Musharraf told the lawmakers, according to a report in the News, an English-language paper. "You are not delivering. You have lost the war of nerves. You all are silent upon what the media is doing. If I myself have to do everything then you are for what purpose."
Friday, June 8, 2007
Monday, June 4, 2007
A strange ruling
The United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit in New York ruled today that the FCC can't punish broadcasters for "fleeting profanity" when both our President and Vice President have been broadcast doing exactly that. Weird. I'm not going to detail all this, but you can read it for yourself here.
However, I will append an old Wood-Charles News Service item, from an unknown date in the 1990's, that may have some vague relevance.
KILLER QUESTIONS: LATEST POLITICAL PLOY?
ANN ARBOR: POLITICAL SCIENTISTS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN'S STASSEN INSTITUTE FOR THE STUDY OF PERSISTENT IF SOMEWHAT OFF-THE-WALL POLITICAL FIGURES ARE TRACKING WHAT THEY BELIEVE MAY BE A NEW TACTIC IN THE INCREASINGLY MEDIA-DRIVEN AMERICAN POLITICAL VAUDEVILLE. THEY CITE THE RECENT DISMISSAL OF JOCELYN ELDERS AS THE MOST VISIBLE AND VISIBLY SUCCESSFUL RESULT OF THIS NEW FORM OF ATTACK: THE GIVE-'EM-ENOUGH-ROPE PLOY. THE FACTS ABOUT ELDERS' UNFORTUNATE COMMENTS -- REGARDED AS THE LAST STRAW IN HER INCREASINGLY SHAKY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE WHITE HOUSE -- BEGAN TO EMERGE THIS WEEK AS REPORTERS FINALLY TRACKED DOWN AND CORNERED THE AMERICAN PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION OFFICIALS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE EVENT AT WHICH ELDERS MADE HER LET'S-TEACH-KIDS-WANKING STATEMENT.
AN APA SPOKESSHRINK ISSUED A RAMBLING AND CONTRADICTORY ACCOUNT IN WHICH HE FIRST SUGGESTED THAT THE PERSON WHO ASKED ELDERS THE DEADLY QUESTION ("SO, DOC, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT SELF ABUSE, ANYWAY?") WAS NOT AN APA MEMBER AT ALL, BUT A CHIROPRACTOR WHO HAD WANDERED INTO THE WRONG MEETING ROOM BY MISTAKE. HE THEN REVERSED HIMSELF AND SAID THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY RUSH LIMBAUGH IN DISGUISE. PRESSED
FOR DETAILS, HE SHOWED REPORTERS A SERIES OF RORSCHACH BLOTS, AND ASKED THEM HOW LONG THEY'D HATED THEIR MOTHERS.
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN SEEN AS AN ISOLATED OCCURRENCE ASSUMED ADDED SIGNIFICANCE YESTERDAY DURING A VICE PRESIDENTIAL PRESS CONFERENCE. A MAN IDENTIFYING HIMSELF AS GOOT NINGRITCH AND WEARING A FALSE NOSE AND MUSTACHE ASKED GORE IF HE FELT THAT MANDATORY LSD INJECTIONS FOR SPOTTED-OWL RAPERS WAS OR WAS NOT FUNDED IN THE NEW CRIME BILL. THE VICE PRESIDENT DODGED THE QUESTION AND WAS ALSO EVASIVE IN RESPONSE TO A FOLLOW-UP ABOUT FORMING SQUADS OF INNER CITY YOUTHS AND SENDING THEM OUT INTO THE NATIONAL FORESTS TO SPIKE TREES.
THEN, DURING AN APPEARANCE ON THE BARNEY THE DINOSAUR SHOW, SENATOR JESSE HELMS WAS ASKED BY THE PURPLE AND GREEN TALK SHOW HOST WHAT HE THOUGHT SHOULD BE DONE TO GAY WELFARE MOMS. THE SENATOR RESPONDED AT LENGTH AND IN TERMS THAT LENT CREDENCE TO RECENT RUMORS THAT HE
HELPED SCRIPT THE FILM, "PULP FICTION." AIDES TO HELMS LATER DENIED THAT HE SAID ANYTHING OR WAS IN FACT ON THE SHOW, AND ADDED THAT 90% OF THE PROGRAM'S PRE-SCHOOL AUDIENCE WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT A BASTINADO WAS, ANYWAY.
EXPERTS AT THE STASSEN INSTITUTE SUGGESTED THAT INITIAL PUBLIC REACTION WOULD BE UNFAVORABLE, PERHAPS FOR THE SAME REASONS THAT MOST POLLS SHOW VOTERS ANNOYED BY NEGATIVE CAMPAIGN RHETORIC, DESPITE THE WIDESPREAD SUCCESS OF CANDIDATES EMPLOYING IT. HOWEVER, THE POLITICAL SCIENTISTS DID FEEL THAT THE PRACTICE WOULD HAVE A LONG- TERM POSITIVE IMPACT IN THAT IT WOULD MAKE POLITICIANS MORE AND MORE UNWILLING TO SAY ANYTHING OR EVEN TO APPEAR IN PUBLIC, "AND GOD KNOWS, THAT WOULD BE A RELIEF."
THIS WEEK'S WOOD-CHARLES NEWS SERVICE HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FINE FOLKS AT THE ODD TOWN TAVERN, WHO, IN A RECENT INTERVIEW, APOLOGIZED FOR THE GAP IN NEWS COVERAGE DURING THE LAST FEW WEEKS, CITING EXHAUSTION AND A GENERAL SHORTAGE OF ANYTHING FUNNY TO WRITE ABOUT. REPORTERS POINTED OUT THAT THE LATTER CIRCUMSTANCE HAD NOT BEEN AN OBSTACLE UP TO NOW, AND MANAGEMENT OFFERED TO PROVIDE THE NEXT ROUND OF TEMPEH BURGERS ON THE HOUSE.
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However, I will append an old Wood-Charles News Service item, from an unknown date in the 1990's, that may have some vague relevance.
KILLER QUESTIONS: LATEST POLITICAL PLOY?
ANN ARBOR: POLITICAL SCIENTISTS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN'S STASSEN INSTITUTE FOR THE STUDY OF PERSISTENT IF SOMEWHAT OFF-THE-WALL POLITICAL FIGURES ARE TRACKING WHAT THEY BELIEVE MAY BE A NEW TACTIC IN THE INCREASINGLY MEDIA-DRIVEN AMERICAN POLITICAL VAUDEVILLE. THEY CITE THE RECENT DISMISSAL OF JOCELYN ELDERS AS THE MOST VISIBLE AND VISIBLY SUCCESSFUL RESULT OF THIS NEW FORM OF ATTACK: THE GIVE-'EM-ENOUGH-ROPE PLOY. THE FACTS ABOUT ELDERS' UNFORTUNATE COMMENTS -- REGARDED AS THE LAST STRAW IN HER INCREASINGLY SHAKY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE WHITE HOUSE -- BEGAN TO EMERGE THIS WEEK AS REPORTERS FINALLY TRACKED DOWN AND CORNERED THE AMERICAN PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION OFFICIALS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE EVENT AT WHICH ELDERS MADE HER LET'S-TEACH-KIDS-WANKING STATEMENT.
AN APA SPOKESSHRINK ISSUED A RAMBLING AND CONTRADICTORY ACCOUNT IN WHICH HE FIRST SUGGESTED THAT THE PERSON WHO ASKED ELDERS THE DEADLY QUESTION ("SO, DOC, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT SELF ABUSE, ANYWAY?") WAS NOT AN APA MEMBER AT ALL, BUT A CHIROPRACTOR WHO HAD WANDERED INTO THE WRONG MEETING ROOM BY MISTAKE. HE THEN REVERSED HIMSELF AND SAID THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY RUSH LIMBAUGH IN DISGUISE. PRESSED
FOR DETAILS, HE SHOWED REPORTERS A SERIES OF RORSCHACH BLOTS, AND ASKED THEM HOW LONG THEY'D HATED THEIR MOTHERS.
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN SEEN AS AN ISOLATED OCCURRENCE ASSUMED ADDED SIGNIFICANCE YESTERDAY DURING A VICE PRESIDENTIAL PRESS CONFERENCE. A MAN IDENTIFYING HIMSELF AS GOOT NINGRITCH AND WEARING A FALSE NOSE AND MUSTACHE ASKED GORE IF HE FELT THAT MANDATORY LSD INJECTIONS FOR SPOTTED-OWL RAPERS WAS OR WAS NOT FUNDED IN THE NEW CRIME BILL. THE VICE PRESIDENT DODGED THE QUESTION AND WAS ALSO EVASIVE IN RESPONSE TO A FOLLOW-UP ABOUT FORMING SQUADS OF INNER CITY YOUTHS AND SENDING THEM OUT INTO THE NATIONAL FORESTS TO SPIKE TREES.
THEN, DURING AN APPEARANCE ON THE BARNEY THE DINOSAUR SHOW, SENATOR JESSE HELMS WAS ASKED BY THE PURPLE AND GREEN TALK SHOW HOST WHAT HE THOUGHT SHOULD BE DONE TO GAY WELFARE MOMS. THE SENATOR RESPONDED AT LENGTH AND IN TERMS THAT LENT CREDENCE TO RECENT RUMORS THAT HE
HELPED SCRIPT THE FILM, "PULP FICTION." AIDES TO HELMS LATER DENIED THAT HE SAID ANYTHING OR WAS IN FACT ON THE SHOW, AND ADDED THAT 90% OF THE PROGRAM'S PRE-SCHOOL AUDIENCE WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT A BASTINADO WAS, ANYWAY.
EXPERTS AT THE STASSEN INSTITUTE SUGGESTED THAT INITIAL PUBLIC REACTION WOULD BE UNFAVORABLE, PERHAPS FOR THE SAME REASONS THAT MOST POLLS SHOW VOTERS ANNOYED BY NEGATIVE CAMPAIGN RHETORIC, DESPITE THE WIDESPREAD SUCCESS OF CANDIDATES EMPLOYING IT. HOWEVER, THE POLITICAL SCIENTISTS DID FEEL THAT THE PRACTICE WOULD HAVE A LONG- TERM POSITIVE IMPACT IN THAT IT WOULD MAKE POLITICIANS MORE AND MORE UNWILLING TO SAY ANYTHING OR EVEN TO APPEAR IN PUBLIC, "AND GOD KNOWS, THAT WOULD BE A RELIEF."
THIS WEEK'S WOOD-CHARLES NEWS SERVICE HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FINE FOLKS AT THE ODD TOWN TAVERN, WHO, IN A RECENT INTERVIEW, APOLOGIZED FOR THE GAP IN NEWS COVERAGE DURING THE LAST FEW WEEKS, CITING EXHAUSTION AND A GENERAL SHORTAGE OF ANYTHING FUNNY TO WRITE ABOUT. REPORTERS POINTED OUT THAT THE LATTER CIRCUMSTANCE HAD NOT BEEN AN OBSTACLE UP TO NOW, AND MANAGEMENT OFFERED TO PROVIDE THE NEXT ROUND OF TEMPEH BURGERS ON THE HOUSE.
- 30 -
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