The Occasional Joke

Nurse: Patient's name?

Centurion: Marcus Licinius Crassus

Nurse: And his date of birth?

Centurion: 115 BC.

Nurse: All right. And what is he here for?

Centurion: Cataphract surgery.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Catching up

Haven't spent a great deal of time in the swank Wood-Charles HQ building recently. First, we had a couple of field research trips, inspecting secret training facilities State Parks. Then we had to do a quick trip to the Capital region, looking into a rumored dip in restaurant revenue (intervention successful).  Anyway, operations are back to normal (to the extent they ever are), and we can note some data gathered from instrumentation, imagery, and FOIA requests.

First, some new members of the team:
  • Electronic content specialist, Bjorn Digital
  • Our Punjabi-Irish-Caribbean Ethicist, Izzat O'Cayman

Clandestine humint (i.e. things overheard):
  • Young State Park: Woman: You guys want to buy a sail boat? You don't have one. Man: You know what? I don't smoke crack, and I ain't gonna do that, either.
  • Black Lake: Small boy: Pow, pow, pow! You want to use my grenade launcher?
  • Smaller boy, chanting: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Who stucka mustard?
  • Little girl, on a bike with training wheels, frantically: I'm slowing down!

New project pitches:
  • Documentary on Simon and Garfunkel: With Stephen Frye and Patrick Stewart, Hugh Laurie as Neil Young, and Justin Beiber as the Monkey. "Simon and Garfunkel didn't have a monkey!" "Write one in."
  • Therapy bears
(Management would like to apologize for the poor quality of the illustrations on this blog. The person who drew the cartoon at left is receiving counseling. Wood-Charles promises to employ a skilled three-year-old to do these drawings as soon as one is available. A spokesman for three-year-olds said "Echo Location!")