The Occasional Joke

Nurse: Patient's name?

Centurion: Marcus Licinius Crassus

Nurse: And his date of birth?

Centurion: 115 BC.

Nurse: All right. And what is he here for?

Centurion: Cataphract surgery.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Will the congregaton please rise?

I take my text today from the book of Camping, chapter 21, verses 119-223.

And there were three men who came unto the Campground of Wilderness, by the shore. The first man brought his wife, who was comely and well-shapen, and golden of hair, and scanty was her raiment. The second man brought also his wife, who was similarly golden of hair, though her robes were more modest, and brought he also bicycles of many gears, bound with bonds of bungy to the posterior of his SUV. The third man came in his richly caparisoned pickup truck, and hitched to it was his fishing vessel, shiny and new, gleaming like the cohorts of the Assyrian.

And the first and second men did pitch their tents near to one another. The second man and his wife unpacked their goods, and they unstrapped their two-wheeled steeds, and prepared they to ride forth upon them. The first man and his wife also unpacked their belongings, and they did strew them in an untidy manner upon the ground.

Then the third man came by, riding in his pickup truck and dragging behind it his splendid boat.

And God prepared for the faithful a lesson. Lo, the second man nearly fell off his bicycle, so did he covet the first man's wife, while the first man saw this not, so busy was he that he nearly tripped over his baggage, coveting the third man's bass boat. And the wives took no notice, so accustomed were they to their husbands' ways.

And God did laugh. And he forbore to punish them for coveting each others' bling, but instead he summoned Moses and ordered him to tighten up the wording of the tenth commandment. And Moses did protest, saying "Verily, we are ready to ship!" And God said unto him, "Oh, come on. It is but a small matter of programming."

Here endeth the lesson.