The Occasional Joke

Nurse: Patient's name?

Centurion: Marcus Licinius Crassus

Nurse: And his date of birth?

Centurion: 115 BC.

Nurse: All right. And what is he here for?

Centurion: Cataphract surgery.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

McLuggage survives second assassination attempt

For the second time in two years, Josev McLuggage, the beloved leader of the small breakaway republic in southeastern Ann Arbor, has escaped death at the hands of unknown enemies. While McLuggage has always been quick to blame such incidents on external forces, aides were not speculating on the sources of Thursday's attack. McLuggage, however, was in no doubt. "That goddam porch, she's a tryin' to kill me!"

Anxious to show other nations, potential foes, and of course, the wretched peasantry that he was recovering and in charge, McLuggage met with US Deputy Secretary of State, William J. Burns to discuss "the usual," as Burns described it. "You know: arms, money, drugs, money, and arms."