The Occasional Joke

Nurse: Patient's name?

Centurion: Marcus Licinius Crassus

Nurse: And his date of birth?

Centurion: 115 BC.

Nurse: All right. And what is he here for?

Centurion: Cataphract surgery.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

You must respect my authoritay!

The company formerly known as Blackwater is paying the Feds $42 million in fines for violating export control regulations. Among many, many little slip-ups and peculations, "...Senate Armed Services Committee revealed Blackwater employees had diverted more than 500 AK-47 assault rifles from a U.S. weapons bunker in Afghanistan that were intended for use by Afghan police. According to the Washington Independent, Blackwater employees signed for some of the weapons as "Eric Cartman," which (sic) is a "South Park" character."

The ongoing spectacle

Out Grand Rapids-way, someone is shooting some kind of movie, called "Touchback." A local man took the title as a suggestion, showed up on the set, and allegedly began offering to give female cast members back massages.

Trouble is, a) he's not a massage therapist, b) he's a registered sex offender, and c) the shooting is taking place at a high school; he's banned from being within 1000 feet of any such place. Also d) he has a vastly stupid haircut. And e) when several women complained about him and Security booted him out, he continued to circle the school in his car, leading to his arrest.

Now, he says he's going to fight to clear his name, which, wonderfully, is "Ketchapaw."

Allright, allright ...

I'll consider moderating my views on traffic conditions in Ann Arbor.

A nine day traffic jam? Predicted to last until "mid September?" When the People's Republic screws up, it really excels.