The Occasional Joke

Nurse: Patient's name?

Centurion: Marcus Licinius Crassus

Nurse: And his date of birth?

Centurion: 115 BC.

Nurse: All right. And what is he here for?

Centurion: Cataphract surgery.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

It's not too early

To start mocking the GOP candidates for 2016.  Right at the moment, it looks as though the people who might go up against Hilary Clinton whoever wins the Democratic nomination include:
  • Rick Perry, Lunatic Governor of Texas
  • Ted Cruz, Canadian Texas Senator
  • Rand Paul, Son of a ... Son of Ron Paul  Kentucky Senator
  • Ted Nugent, Lobotomy patient  aging musician
  • Viktor Yanukovych, (apparently) ex-head of the Ukraine
  • Rob Ford, Mayor of Toronto
  • A pack of feral Chihuahuas from Phoenix
Michigan's own little bad boy, Dave Agema, has refused to say whether he'll run, since an obscure note in the Constitution forbids candidates to stand for election while being pelted with dung by members of their own party.

The old ways are the best ways

So let's say you're a dim-witted, authoritarian leader of a former world power. You want to show the world that your country is making a come back. Do you:

a) Liberalize your laws and move toward a pluralistic social structure?
b) Try to draw a veil over your country's despicable past?
c) Hire mercenary savages from the same ethnic group that previous tyrants employed, and dress them in their traditional costumes, complete with whips?

If you chose c), congratulations, you're qualified to run the Russian Federation.