The Occasional Joke


Nurse: Patient's name?

Centurion: Marcus Licinius Crassus

Nurse: And his date of birth?

Centurion: 115 BC.

Nurse: All right. And what is he here for?

Centurion: Cataphract surgery.


Sunday, November 4, 2007

Foreshadowing the BitTorrent Scandal

This week, we learned that Comcast may have been discriminating against peer to peer traffic via BitTorrent. The following old Wood-Charles article, from Lord knows how long ago (note coy references to defunct ISPs like Prodigy and defunct browsers like Mosaic), shows that it ain't a new issue.


COMMERCIAL PROVIDERS SLUFF OFF LOAD

ANN ARBOR: INFOWORLD COLUMNIST ROBERT X. CRINGLEY REPORTS THAT TWO OF THE MAJOR COMMERCIAL INTERNET ACCESS PROVIDERS ARE EXPERIENCING DEMAND SO FAR AHEAD OF CAPACITY THAT THEY RESORT TO CREATIVE, SOFTWARE BASED SOLUTIONS TO HANDLING IT. THE PROVIDERS WHICH SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS (EXCEPT THAT ONE ISN'T BOSNIA-OFF-LINE AND THE OTHER ISN'T A CHILD PROGENY) DO THINGS LIKE, RESPECTIVELY, CLOSING OFF ACCESS DURING PEAK HOURS AND DOWNGRADING CONNECTIONS FROM 9600 TO 12OO.

NOW, A NEW APPROACH IS EMERGING FROM ANN ARBOR'S OWN MARMOT NET. MARMOT NET IS THE WORLD'S LARGEST, LEAST-EXPENSIVE PROVIDER, HAVING (ACCORDING TO ITS FIGURES) 12 TIMES MORE USERS ON LINE AT ANY TIME THAN COMPUSERVE AND MSEN PUT TOGETHER. THIS DESPITE A HARDWARE BASE CONSISTING OF A 2400 BAUD ZOOMODEM AND A FIVE-YEAR-OLD TOSHIBA LAPTOP. HOW DOES MARMOT COPE WITH LOAD? "LIKE THE OTHER PLAYERS, WE HAVE RESORTED TO SOFTWARE SOLUTIONS," SAID A MARMOT NET SPOKESFOOL. "WE QUIETLY DOWNLOAD A PROGRAM ONTO YOUR HARD DRIVE THE FIRST TIME YOU LOG ON. THEN, ANY TIME IT DETECTS UNACCEPTABLE DELAYS IN SYSTEM RESPONSE, IT TAKES OVER AND ACTUALLY BEGINS SIMULATING INTERNET ACCESS LOCALLY. IT'S COOL. WE CAN GENERATE ABUSIVE MAIL FROM GRUMPY ETHNIC TYPES, UNSOLICITED ADVERTISING FROM LAWYERS, INACCURATE TECHNICAL INFORMATION FROM NEWS GROUPS, AND EVEN SHOW WHAT APPEARS TO BE MOSAIC, ENDLESSLY SPINNING ITS LITTLE WORLD THINGY. AND OF COURSE, MAILING LIST TRAFFIC FROM THE ANN ARBOR COMPUTER SOCIETY IS ALWAYS GOOD FOR KILLING TIME AND CONVINCING USERS TO LOG OFF."

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