The Occasional Joke

Nurse: Patient's name?

Centurion: Marcus Licinius Crassus

Nurse: And his date of birth?

Centurion: 115 BC.

Nurse: All right. And what is he here for?

Centurion: Cataphract surgery.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

An old parody

There's been a certain amount of Lincoln talk in the media, it being well-nigh his birthday and all. Reminded me of the following, from the old Wood-Charles News Service, back around 1995 or so.


Well, you heard the story of the '94 race,
GOP got right in the Democrats' face.
While the lib'ral commies was a-sittin' round thinkin',
They got outflanked by the Party o' Lincoln.

They got Lincoln voters, but they really screwed up
Should've bought Newt a Labrador pup.
'Stead of doin' all that civil rights trashin'
And lettin' the Kansans go on Darwin bashin'.

They lost their grip late one night,
Challenged Reno to a hell of a fight,
She said I'll give those boys a tweakin'
If the Council's office don't quit leakin'.

An' all of a sudden in the blink of an eye,
There was all these subpoenas a-flyin' by.
No more voters near or far,
They was all stuck in the mud with Kenneth Starr.

Well, they busted 'em all and threw 'em in jail.
Called the Reverend Moon to go their bail.
Uncle Sam said, "Gonna drive me to drinkin'
If you don't quit votin' for the Party o' Lincoln!"

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