The Occasional Joke

Nurse: Patient's name?

Centurion: Marcus Licinius Crassus

Nurse: And his date of birth?

Centurion: 115 BC.

Nurse: All right. And what is he here for?

Centurion: Cataphract surgery.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Heirogliphics of a sort

We did our obligatory quick run through the State Street Art Fair last night, and over by Rackham, there was a large, sparsely staffed set of tables from Applegate Farms. They were doing nothing at all that I could see except giving away free samples of their hot dogs, along with brochures and the pin shown here.

The translation they were trying for, I assume, is "I love meat," a marketing cliche in which "love" is represented by a heart shape. But by replacing it with an apple, I suppose they were trying to link it to their name, Applegate. But then, in the inevitable back and forth with the CEO, I imagine the following dialog went on.

CEO: I apple meat? What does that mean?
Marketing Creep: Well, it still means I heart meat, but the Apple is for Applegate, you know, tying it to us.
CEO: I don't get it. How much do these pins cost?
Marketing Creep: Well, maybe we need to strengthen the imagery -- what do you think, artist?
Artist: Uh, how about if there's an arrow through the apple? Like what's his name shooting an apple off somebody's head? That would strengthen the apple-ness of it.
CEO: What? Paul Revere or somebody like that?
Marketing Creep: Yeah, or Ted Nugent -- he's hot right now.
CEO: Couldn't we get Ted Nugent to do an ad for us?
Marketing Creep: You think the pins are expensive?
Artist: And there's all this feral pig thing, tied to Ted right now. We might want to hold off on that until we see who comes out on top.
CEO: On top of what? Ted Nugent is in favor of feral pigs?
CFO: (Popping in) Are you winding up? I need the conference room.
CEO: Oh, hell, I don't care. Put an arrow in and run with it.
Artist: Actually, you know, it would make a pretty good logo. We should put it on everything.
CEO: Fine, fine. Just don't go nuts with the budget.

I have long wanted to create and copyright a heiro-phrase like this myself, in which the characters would be:

I X-a-(drawing of a shipping container) (topic)

Which would be read as I execrate New York or Michelle Bachmann or something. But it would just cause traffic accidents, I suppose.

And by the way, they were terrible hot dogs.

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