The Occasional Joke

Nurse: Patient's name?

Centurion: Marcus Licinius Crassus

Nurse: And his date of birth?

Centurion: 115 BC.

Nurse: All right. And what is he here for?

Centurion: Cataphract surgery.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

This time they've gone too far!

"We are prepared to accept with restraint and tolerance the outrageous acts of regional powers, struggling to find a place for themselves in the world. Their sometimes impulsive and ill-considered adventurism should be sanctioned, yes, but met with diplomacy rather than outright force. However, there are limits to the world's patience and lines that should not be crossed with impunity. Therefore we have ordered the US First Airborne Division to deploy to selected sites in Europe in order to be prepared for intervention if necessary."

FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler, speaking to reporters about the British Broadcasting Corporation's rumored use of "mumbling" in a recreation of Daphne DuMaurier's Jamaca Inn.  According to a report in The Guardian, nearly 6 million lives have been effected by "... some of the characters' broad West Country accents ..."

Responding to accusations of inhumane and insensitive acts, Britain's permanent representative to the United Nations, Mark Lyall Grant, pointed out that many US television programs feature characters with "incomprehensible" accents; he cited such popular programs as Duck Dynasty, Jersey Shore, and anything with Donald Trump. It was not clear whether Grant was aware that Jersey Shore is no longer in production or that Mr. Trump does not have an accent, but is merely an idiot.

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