For many years, your editorial staff at WCA sent out weekly rubbish, mostly political, as a thin cover for encouraging people to show up at a given downtown Ann Arbor bar. This was before blogging had been thought of, and when a number of things occurred, including 9/11, the rampant expansion of the blogosphere, and constant comparisons with our material and the goddamn Onion, we gave it up.
Today, the WCA editorial staff finds itself with lots of time on its hands, thanks to the miracle of short-term disability and so on, and it seems as though one way of annoying everybody -- that is, keeping in touch with our dedicated fans, is to rerun some of the older material from the news service, along with current thoughts, if any, and perhaps the occasional status report on our personal status.
The column below appeared in 1990, the last time a President was in as much trouble as our current one ... some of it seems pretty apt, given the current headlines.
APPROVAL, DOLLARS FLOW IN TO DEMS; GOP TO RETHINK STRATEGY
Ann Arbor: Numerous sources are reporting massive upswings in President Clinton's approval ratings and -- more importantly -- in private citizen donations to the Democratic National Committee. The longer the impeachment proceedings go on, it appears, the better for Clinton and for Al Gore's inevitable run for the pillory in 2000. In apparent recognition of this, the President announced a number of initiatives this week that are clearly aimed at keeping the scandal going. For example, his program for "fixing" the schools has been criticized as a desire to micromanage the nation's educational system. The President denied this vigorously, saying , "Nobody wants to micromanage the schools less than I do ... well, maybe I'd like to micromanage some of 'em. Well, maybe the girls' basketball programs." This remark alone was thought to be good for another three weeks of hearings, another 2 percentage points in the polls, and another 25 million dollars in contributions.
Meanwhile, the GOP, intent on proving that it is not dumber than a box of rocks(1), despite all evidence to the contrary, announced that it would demand equal time to be investigated. Republican Representative Henry Hyde issued a scathing attack on Attorney General Janet Reno for her refusal to appoint a special prosecutor to investigate him. Among the low crimes and "naughtinesses" for which Hyde wants to be dragged through the mud and -- he hopes -- back into public favor are his having paid an illegal alien two dollars and fifty cents, in 1969, to mow his lawn, without deducting anything for Social Security or withholding taxes; having smirked knowingly upon being told a off-color joke in the presence of female federal employees; and of having had recurring impure thoughts about a classmate, one Delores Bobowski(2), during his sophomore and junior years in high school. Hyde's statement concluded with a plea for fairness and impartiality in the process of blackening his name and expending vast amounts of public money to no useful purpose. "While I may not have the President's sheer, native ability to screw up, I believe that with practice, I can become just as big an embarrassment and become just as popular, as long as the Justice Department is willing to give me the opportunity."
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The WCA News Service is brought to you by the Odd Town Tavern in foggy, damp downtown Ann Arbor, where, to our chagrin, the statement:
comfortable_old_restaurants --;
is about to be executed.
(1) Zastreaux, A., "Who works at Oracle?," Harvard MonkeyBusiness Review, Feb, 1997. (2) Crumb, R., various references, 1967 - 1975
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