The Occasional Joke

Nurse: Patient's name?

Centurion: Marcus Licinius Crassus

Nurse: And his date of birth?

Centurion: 115 BC.

Nurse: All right. And what is he here for?

Centurion: Cataphract surgery.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Oh, no! Not Christmas carols already!

You gotta fight fire with fire, son. Before every damn public sound system in the western world starts bleating 'em, we gotta get a jump on parodying 'em. I'll give you covering fire and you start thinking:
O Rahm, O Rahm, Emanuel
Come ransom captive Chicago
That mourns in sleazy exile here
Until the grandson of Daley come
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emanuel
Shall come to thee, O Chicago.

The first concern, Shareholders did say,
Is to maximize earnings on day after day
On day after day, and at night when asleep,
From the slick CEO to the Marketing Creep.
Cover your tracks or they'll put you away.

It's the post-modernist time of the year.
With Foucault being silly
And whipping his willy
Sans fear
It's the least sensible meme of the year.

It's the least humanist style of them all.
With faux Tudor half-timbers
And fake neon embers and Victorian
Crap over here:
It's the post-modernist time of the year.

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