Sunday, January 16, 2011
New weight-gain drug enters trials
Wood-Charles Pharma, the international pharmaceutical arm of Wood-Charles Enterprises, announced today the start of clinical trials for its new weight-gain and artery occluding drug, Ergoporkorol. A spokesman said that the company had identified a large, unserved segment of the health care consuming public, faced with the need to regain lost weight after chemo therapy. In response, WC Pharma is testing a new oral treatment, consisting primarily of pig bits, lovingly ground up, spiced, garnished with smoked ham (which is also pig, of course) and taken as often as possible until desired weight levels are achieved or 80 to 90% arterial blockage occurs.
Reacting to criticism from competitors, the FDA, and the French Government that Ergoporkorol was simply a standard country pate', not very esthetically rendered, WC Pharma's Vice President of responding to surrender monkeys said, "You and what army?"