The Occasional Joke

Nurse: Patient's name?

Centurion: Marcus Licinius Crassus

Nurse: And his date of birth?

Centurion: 115 BC.

Nurse: All right. And what is he here for?

Centurion: Cataphract surgery.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

New weight-gain drug enters trials

Wood-Charles Pharma, the international pharmaceutical arm of Wood-Charles Enterprises, announced today the start of clinical trials for its new weight-gain and artery occluding drug, Ergoporkorol. A spokesman said that the company had identified a large, unserved segment of the health care consuming public, faced with the need to regain lost weight after chemo therapy. In response, WC Pharma is testing a new oral treatment, consisting primarily of pig bits, lovingly ground up, spiced, garnished with smoked ham (which is also pig, of course) and taken as often as possible until desired weight levels are achieved or 80 to 90% arterial blockage occurs.

Reacting to criticism from competitors, the FDA, and the French Government that Ergoporkorol was simply a standard country pate', not very esthetically rendered, WC Pharma's Vice President of responding to surrender monkeys said, "You and what army?"

1 comment:

  1. Woot. My first bleary-glance at the photo made me think you were producing Scotch Eggs (which will also certainly help a person regain weight). But pate is so much lovelier. My last effort was much improved by the acquisition of an honest-to-god food processor, in lieu of the 'pretending to be a food processor thing that attaches to my blender and sounds like an F4 with STOL kit'.