Traffic myths

Slow news day, apparently. The Grand Rapids Press used up some column space with this set of "myths" about Michigan traffic laws. I didn't believe any of these, but here are some actual Michigan laws for violating which you can be pulled over, beaten senseless, and left by the roadside to be eaten by cougars and polar bears.

• Turning off a sidewalk into a vehicle traffic lane (or vice versa) while operating a bicycle; the famous "Which are you, a vehicle or a ped, make up your damn mind" law.
• Operating a vehicle under the influence of Ricky Gervais.
  
• Operating a vehicle larger than a Reagan-class aircraft carrier (the bio-diesel-bus ordinance of 2008.)
  
• Failing to signal your political orientation (specific to Ann Arbor.)
  
• Transporting chickens with intent to distribute (as above: only applicable in Ann Arbor.)