The Occasional Joke

Nurse: Patient's name?

Centurion: Marcus Licinius Crassus

Nurse: And his date of birth?

Centurion: 115 BC.

Nurse: All right. And what is he here for?

Centurion: Cataphract surgery.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Key indicator down at end of week

Today's scorecard includes several data points that are expected to factor into a slight downward variance in the International Rubbish Index (1).

Segolene Royal, the ex-wife of French President Hollande (as opposed to the ex-live-in- partner or the girlfriend for whom he dumped the latter) has been brought back into the cabinet, despite her lack of real depth in areas such as nuclear energy. Last time she was in charge of things, she said publically that France depended on nukes for 17% of its energy, whereas the real number was 77%. This comes at a time when France is dithering its way toward backing out of its near-criminal reliance on nuclear power, and so there is some concern with this frankly silly management change. Score: -1.

A man who hit a 10 year old boy in Detroit when the youth stepped out in front of the man's pickup was mobbed, beaten into a coma, and robbed as well. A Detroit police sergeant said "... this is not conducive to how the city of Detroit generally handles things...” For the sheer nerve of that statement: Score: -2.
2014 04 09: update: he wasn't robbed. That was a rumor.

And an ad on the back cover of Archaeology Magazine touts tourism in Texas, concluding with the slogan "Texas: It's like a whole other country." Score: Here's hopin': +1.

In summary, adding the indicators produced a net reduction in the IRI, leaving it down 2.

(1) The International Rubbish Index or IRI is an indicator of the extent to which things appear to be going to hell in a handcart. It is maintained and published by the Research Institute of Michigan, a subsidiary of Wood-Charles Associates.

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