|The Economy||Didn't think the H-1B visa thing was an especially good idea back when we did, in fact, have a shortage of COBOL programmers -- along about 1999 -- and certainly is not in favor of it now. Advocates a new branch of the military, The United States Technical Corps, into which young men and women could be drafted, starting at age 18, and providing a career progression from Technical Support positions up through Java Coder and topping out, for enlisted personnel, at Program Manager. Those making a career of it could aspire to ranks such as SCRUM Master, Quality Assurance Gauleiter, and General Protectionfault.|
|Defense||Sums up his views on Defense with the slogan, "It's the Pac Rim, stupid!" Advocates a policy of strengthening
America's naval power and bolstering the arms and capabilities of the Japanese and certain |
Would push for a policy of requiring all nations that export small arms to have internal sales in proportion to their population, forcing, for example, one very large Asian country to sell a proportionate number of AK-47s to their own citizens as they do to ours. "That should keep 'em busy for a while," says the candidate.
|Separation of Church and State||Would press for an end to tax-free statuses for anything that even smells like a religion. The Render Unto Caesar Act or "Stand and Deliver Amendment" would be retroactive to 1791, and would involve a complicated algorithm for calculating back taxes on income, property, and, in a revolutionary new concept in taxation, "smack-talking." The candidate notes that in implementing this program, the software effort alone would create one hundred and forty million new jobs, at least. Two hundred and forty million, if you want it to run on Macs, too.|
|Foreign Affairs||The Foreign and Corrupt Practices Act, which today prohibits bribing foreign officials, would be extended to
apply to US officials, as well. The Blagojevich Act, as it would be known, would also increase the penalties for bribing
an official in a country we don't like, at the time it happened. This would provide an incentive for countries that
are currently |
The candidate has also discussed a new concept in trade agreements, complementing the notion of Most-favored Nation status. Countries that act in ways that are in opposition to US interests, that compete with us in
|Climate Change||The candidate is in favor of any form of climate change that improves the quality of life in the upper midwest, annoys the people in Ohio, and/or fosters the production of a high quality Pinot Noir varietal in central Michigan. Say, in Shiawassee County, for example.|
|Local Concerns||Advocates a ban on paving anything that isn't already paved and fixing the holes in things that are.|
No super-PAC has been formed to date, but negotiations with Jon Stewart are underway.